Unending Quest..

After a long time I went to our Corporate office today and met one of my earlier team member. Chitchatting over a cup of tea and a fag, he was mentioning that he is tired of the job though he got the long due promotion and is just waiting for the company to give him Pink slip so that he can start the food business that he has been interested over quite a few years but never had the courage to pick.

That led to my enquiring him on the status of another old team mate who left around 2 months back. I got to know that he is also on the look out to start something on his own..but not sure on what he wants to do.. With my own thoughts not really being clear as I am not happy with my current role and project and tossing ideas on what to do next.. I just started wondering what is it that we all want. It is not that one person, this is the same question and same unrest among each soul. No I do not want to attribute this to the mid-life crisis. There are so many people you are surrounded with.. you just have to look and incase it is the IT sector then it is like "In your face scenario" who get drained out and are all the time looking for something. No clue on what is that some thing!! What is it that we all are running to achieve that will provide us that immense satisfaction, happiness and pride that yes we have accomplished something!

With these thoughts I just came back home and started watching the balance of the movie CGR (the recent Pawan kalyan starrer). No I am not a great fan of him.. but some of the dialogues in the film have kicked a thought process altogether. All the big MNCs provide us a window for the Social responsibility which is again pushed on us by rewards and recognition, but where is our responsibility as an individual. Is the lack of an individual responsibility that is causing us to look out always for something to give us that adrenalin rush?

emukalu kruLLina, vayasu maLLina, somarulaara chaavanDi!

NetturumanDe, Saktulu ninDe, Sainukulaara! raranDi!

(Maha Kavi Sri Sri - Maha Prasthanam)

When we read that in the child hood, there was a kick.. a fire in the belly, something that we want to do. No idea, no direction.. but that fire in belly gave a thrusting energy to do anything. We read all the books from Jayanti (publications, Vijayawada) Tatayyagaru's shop. Be it Maha prasthanam, Chittagong Veerulu, Bhagat singh, Chandrasekhar azad.. each book only adding fuel. Every March 23rd we all kids would get together along with few of our friends and observe a few minutes of silence and take pride in that acomplishment.

During the college days, being a part of the NSS doing voluntary service was a big achievemnt. And when Mandal Commision happened and we all walked from South campus to AIIMS it was a big sense of achivement. "Nenu saitam.. prapanchagni ki.." anukuntu nadicham.

Yedo cheyyali anna avesam, tappaka edo chestam anna kala.. lonchi only me .. my family.. my car.. my home.. the entire paradigm has changed. Bavilo kappala.. baitaki ravalani undi.. kaani vaste kotta prapanchamlo em chestam anna prasna.. beduru.. ive manalni nadipistunnaya ippudu?

Weekend lo oka cinema, family to oka dinner or lunch, evaro okallo iddaro close friends to hai / hello husku.. pakkavadu ela pote manakem.. is this what we are working towards.

This was the same question that Kiran bedi was asking a few days back on the delhi rape case victim.. where is your responsibility as an individual? How come we are emerging as a society so insensitive that anything bothers us as long as it is a news headline and then headline changes and so is our focus.

This is the same thing that is leading us to the unending quest in personal front as well.. do not appreciate what you have, and when you achieve what you want, your focus changes, and the cycle continues.

In our unending quest we are losing focus to appreciate and enjoy what is around us.. the little things of life.. take a break, think what you want... forget about the designations, and the company titles, forget about the EMIs and the pay packets.. close your eyes and understand what your heart beats and for and make your passion your work...will everything else will fall in place? What do you think?

Sankranti Sambaralu

"Yeteta sankranti panduga meeku..mee sneha madhurya sankranti maaku.."

Sankranti always brings sweet memories.. and the top most one in the list is bapu bommalu... and vijayawada.

Vijayawada is where one of my earliest memory of Sankranthi and thought we have not celebrated it more than a couple of times there.. that is the most memorable experience. Sankranthi is not the same in any city now a days.. and we may have to go to villages to enjoy this festival.. but pretty soon we might lose them as well with the modernisation of villages.

Sankranthi preparations eppudu mundu gane start ayyevi ammayilaki. The Christmas holidays is when the action starts to pull out all the old "Muggula pustakalu" spruce them up start looking in news papers and in every street for new designs. You see a very beautiful muggu and the girls will stop in their tracks mentally calculating how many "chukkalu" (dots) and how many varasalu (lines), madhya chukka, chukka vidicchi chukka.. the tricks are endless that will be recorded by eyes into the mind and rush back to the home from the school to make sure this gets recorded into your own muggula pustakam. And in case it is a complicated one and the place where you have seen it is not far.. a quick run back with the notebook in your hand to copy the same... but if you are unlucky and cannot go back.. then your imagination gets unleashed..

When we were kids all the grannies and mothers religiously used to tell the girls in home "muggu karra enta tinnaga vunte nee jeevitham kuda anthe chakkaga sagutundi".. I always wondered what is the link. How can a line decide how a girls fate will be? But now that I am grown up I can understand.. It is a art that needs lot of energy and patience..you can go wrong but have the patience to correct it neatly so that no trace is visible, or sometimes completely redo it till you are perfect,  and that is what they have been actually trying to teach. To have patience, focus and seamless energy to go through your life....

Coming back to track.. chukkala muggulu(dots rangoli), geethala muggulu(lines rangoli), melikala muggulu (complex rangoli)..too many degrees to master and all these girls would do so with aplomb.. then there is also sharing between one another on these.

Once done you are all set for your performances and they would happen everyday.. in every street. For those who are not in south of India or not acquainted  I cannot explain how beautiful this is.. but I will definitely try to ask Tulasi to prepare a nice one one of these days and post the photos. This is street art in simple words. Colours are optional and the drawing is done by using the white chalk powder held using your thumb and index finger to drop the powder diligently into the required shapes.

Sometimes they are drawn in the night time itself post dinner, but some would do it in the early morning (smart move also because you can see what other have done and pick a different one). Sandu sandu mottam muggula to nimpesevaru..with out any gaps. It is like celebration time.. festival time.. panduga taravata.. panduga kala matram munde vachedi..

Chali chali poga manchulo.. poddu poddunne sandu ninda ammayilu.. raka rakala muggulu.. rangu rangula muggulu vestu..bapu boomalu kanna andanga.. vayyaranga....akasam lonchi jaarutunna chukkalanni pattukuni.. mungitlo sardesi.. geetalo to kalipesi..vati meeds gobbemmalani alankarinchi.. ye sandu chusina pelli kale annattu..

Ee hadavidi madhyalo sankranthi ki greetings cards ivvali ani utsaham..edanna special ga undalani..

Every time we used to religiously go to Navodaya shop for New year and Sankranthi greetings.. I don't remember buying them anytime.. back then there is no concept of pocket money. so maaku nachina cards select chesukuni pedananna ko annayya ko cheppi techukunevallam..

Ye sankranthi card chusina.. chakkaga bapu bommala to alankarinchi.. kammani telugu lo subhakansha lu cheputu!! the above quote I have written in the beginnning is just one of them. It was so easy to remember and so sweet somehow it stuck in my mind summarising sankranti.. I think that is one of the quotes that got me to try my hand at poetry as well during school days and college days.

Those days will never come again!! hmm..

Vasudhaika Kutumbam...

I was chit chatting up with my neighbour yesterday.. and suddenly in the middle of the conversation the topic diverts to our other neighbours in the apartment. And suddenly my neighbour mentions " meeku telusa syamala garini peru to pilavali avidani kani valla husband ni kaani auntie, uncle ante chala kopam. Avida peruto ne pilavamani cheptaru."

I can hear my jaw drop. When we have moved newly into this apartment there were only 2 other occupants and this family is one of them with whom we introduced ourselves first calling them uncle and auntie.. and now our kid even calls uncle Tatagaru. I have not heard any complaint any time.. But then looks like we are the only privileged ones on which this honour is bestowed while all other occupants ensure the cursory name with garu added to them.

The whole conversation has triggered only a thought process in my mind. How much we are trying to change our ways to Western world where you address the other people only by name. I know it is a matter of pure choice of the individuals... but as I am thinking and I look back I have had a whole gamut of relationships through out my life by addressing the people the Indian way, with an appropriate relationship.. uncle, auntie, attayya, pedananna, tatagaru,  bhayya, bhabhi and what not.

The closeness these relations brought would be missing if I look back and try to address each one of those individuals by name instead of relation!!

I guess this is what we are losing out in our rush to be more modern and westernised. I still remember our childhood days in Vijayawada where my dad would be coming back from office for a lunch or late night and the minute his rickshaw enters the lane, the aunties in that lane would tell their kids that Joshi mamayya garu vacharu.. and I can see them going back from being naughty to be so good and do whatever it was that their mothers were trying get them done with aplomb.. quickie..And trust me none of them were our relatives to call my dad uncle..

And that is how I remember my first introduction to the whole relations where you address another person elder to you with respect. My dad's friend was my uncle (pedananna), my grandfather's friend was Tatagaru. and when we moved to Delhi the same trend continued.

All the elder kids in the apartment were either Bhaiyyas or didis and their parents Uncle and Aunties.. same is the way my mum and dad were addressed. And between themselves they were calling one another bhaiyya or didi depending upon the age gap.

The people will come seeking advice, they take you under their wings and guide you and none of us would question.. why is it your business.

So many times me and my bro have travelled between Delhi and Hyderabad alone with only the co-passengers taking in us and ensure we safely land in our destination.. and all these uncles aunties or brothers or bhabhis would ensure we are well fed along the journey, they would fetch us anything from the platform if we need a refill of water or something to eat.

That charm is lost now-a days when you look back. What we have been taught all along was to respect our elders and the relationship naming was a part and parcel of this.

With the change of the game and people have a challenge in giving respect to their own parents or seniors in the family.. not sure where this large universal family is lost!!